meilynn.com

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Anon

Read this on wahm.com message board, it is two funny, “eye yam i’m pressed”, halve two right it down.

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,
“Hello?”

“Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”
“No, Daddy She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Johnnie.”

After a brief pause, Daddy says,
“But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Johnnie.”
“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now.”

Brief Pause.
“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.”

A few minutes later
The little girl comes back to the phone.
“I did it, Daddy.”
“And what happened, honey?” He asked.

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Johnnie?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took the water out last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”

***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause* **

Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool?
Is this 469-5575?”

“No, I think you have the wrong number…….”

He didn’t like the casserole
And he didn’t like my cake,

He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn’t perk the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,

I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and
smacked the @&%$ out of him…
Like his mother used to do.

I read this at a work at home forum, have to write it down.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a Bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and Begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes.”

WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN: “$65,000.”

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000..”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”

MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

Johnny was playing with the LeapPad while I was cooking dinner in the kitchen.

Suddenly Johnny said: “Hi Mom, I know where Georgia lives!!”. (Georgia is the little girl in Johnny’s kindergarten class, also ride on the same bus with him.).

I was little surprised and I said really?

Then Johnny said yes mommy, come on, let me show you!

So I went over and saw Johnny was playing with the Leappad’s “Unites States of America” map, Then Johnny pointed his pen to the state of Georgia, and the Leappad said “Georgia”!